What Is a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Coach?
When you search for support after a miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, or IVF loss, you may come across terms like "grief counsellor," "therapist," "psychologist," and "pregnancy loss coach." The distinctions are not always clear — and if you are already exhausted by grief, decoding what kind of help you need can feel like one more thing to manage.
This article explains clearly what a pregnancy and infant loss coach is, how it differs from therapy or counselling, what to expect in sessions, and who it is most suited to.
"Coaching is not a lesser option than therapy. It is a different kind of support — forward-facing, strengths-based, and grounded in the belief that you already carry the capacity to heal."
How Many Pregnancy Loss Coaches Are There?
Pregnancy and infant loss coaches remain rare, particularly outside Western countries. In the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia, specialist pregnancy loss coaching has grown meaningfully over the past decade — driven by greater public conversation about miscarriage, stillbirth, and perinatal grief. Organisations like the Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Centre in North America now include certified pregnancy loss coaches alongside clinical counsellors as part of their specialist team.
Globally, dedicated certification programmes for pregnancy loss coaches — such as Seeds of Growth Academy — have begun to build a directory of trained practitioners. Even so, access to certified, specialist pregnancy loss coaches remains limited: most of the world's bereaved parents have no access to anyone specifically trained in this grief.
In Southeast Asia, Vernessa Chuah is the first ICF-certified pregnancy and infant loss coach — establishing this form of specialist support in the region for the first time. For bereaved parents in Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Hong Kong, and across Asia, access to specialist support has historically meant either going without, or attempting to access resources designed for Western contexts that do not always translate culturally or practically.
What a Pregnancy and Infant Loss Coach Does
A pregnancy and infant loss coach is a specialist trained specifically to support people through the grief of miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, infant loss, neonatal loss, and IVF loss. Unlike a general grief counsellor, a pregnancy loss coach has deep training in the particular emotional, physiological, and relational dimensions of this type of loss.
In sessions, a pregnancy and infant loss coach:
- Holds space without agendaNot trying to fix, minimise, or move you forward before you are ready. A space where your grief is welcome, your baby can be named, and your emotions can exist without being managed.
- Helps you understand what is happening in your bodyExplaining why grief after pregnancy loss feels the way it does physically — the nervous system's held responses, the bracing, the exhaustion — and working directly with the body as a site of grief, not just the mind.
- Supports you in processing grief through structured methodsUsing the Grief Recovery Method, somatic release (TRE®), creative expression, and ontological coaching — not just talking in circles, but moving the grief somewhere it can be completed.
- Works with identityWho you are after this loss, what it has changed in you, and what it means for the person you are becoming. Pregnancy loss is not only about the baby — it is also about the mother, the father, the partner, and the self.
- Helps you navigate relationshipsWith your partner, who may be grieving differently. With family members who may not understand. With friends who have moved on. With colleagues who do not know what happened.
- Explores what "next steps" mean for youWhether that is trying again, supporting you through anxiety in a subsequent pregnancy, other paths to parenthood, or learning to live with the grief and uncertainty without it consuming every part of your life.
- Asks powerful questions — not gives answersThe process and the results belong to you. A good pregnancy loss coach does not tell you how to grieve, what to feel, or when to move forward. They hold the space and ask the questions that help you find your own answers and new awareness.
Why People Seek a Pregnancy Loss Coach — In Their Words
People come to pregnancy loss coaching for many different reasons. Some arrive weeks after a loss; others arrive years later, when something surfaces what was carried in silence. These are the experiences they most often describe:
"I no longer question or blame myself for who I am today, especially for what happened with Una. Each session gives me a new enlightenment, and I got to know myself better — things that were never accounted for got the limelight."
— Arum
"The sessions are an eye-opener, and I am grateful to Vernessa for taking the time to go through my blind spots with me. It's personal, speaks to my heart and touches the raw points compared to just a generic coaching session. Vernessa often asks the right questions and makes me reflect, rather than just offering standard solutions."
— Koh
"The last 3 years have been very eventful and painful: 4 rounds of IVF, 1 pregnancy termination at 18 weeks due to chromosome abnormalities, 1 pregnancy loss at 7 weeks, and my husband went through 2 rounds of brain surgery. But I am grateful that despite all these, there's always someone as an expert and acts as a good resource for me to recover. One of whom is Vernessa Chuah."
— J.P
People seek a pregnancy loss coach when they feel that talking to family or friends is not enough — when they need a space specifically designed for this grief, without needing to protect others from their sadness or explain why they are still grieving. They come when they feel functional on the outside and hollow on the inside. They come when they are ready to do something more than wait for time to pass.
Coaching vs Therapy — What's the Difference?
This is the question I am most often asked. Here is an honest, clear comparison:
| Pregnancy & Infant Loss Coaching | Therapy / Counselling |
|---|---|
| Holds the view that you are whole, complete, and capable of finding your own way forward | Often assumes there is something to be diagnosed, treated, or resolved clinically |
| Co-partnership — coach and client are equals exploring together; client holds the expertise on their own grief | More hierarchical — therapist is the clinical expert who guides assessment and treatment |
| Present and future-focused; revisits the past with intention — to acknowledge, to witness, and to move through with care | May involve longer-term exploration of psychological history and the roots of distress |
| Works with mind, body, and emotion simultaneously — integrating somatic, creative, and structured grief approaches | Primarily verbal and cognitive; somatic integration varies by practitioner and approach |
| Best suited to those who are grieving but functioning — wanting support to move through, not just manage | Best suited to clinical mental health conditions, diagnosed disorders, or severe trauma requiring clinical intervention |
| Does not require diagnosis — you come as a whole person, not a presenting problem | Diagnosis and clinical assessment are often part of the process |
Neither is better than the other — they serve different needs. Some bereaved parents benefit most from therapy, particularly if they have a history of clinical depression, anxiety, or trauma that the loss has intensified. Some benefit most from coaching. Many benefit from both, working alongside each other — and a good pregnancy loss coach will always help you find clinical support if that is what you need.
What Makes Pregnancy Loss Coaching Different from General Grief Coaching
A distinct and specific grief
Pregnancy and infant loss is not a variation on other grief. It has its own particular landscape.
A general grief coach may be skilled in supporting loss — but pregnancy loss carries dimensions that most grief frameworks were not designed for. A specialist pregnancy loss coach understands all of these specifically, rather than applying a general framework.
- Invisible grief. There is often no body, no funeral, no shared memory of the person who died. The loss has no social ritual and often no formal acknowledgement. It is grieved mostly in private, which compounds its weight.
- Disenfranchised grief. Pregnancy loss is consistently minimised by others — "it was early," "you can try again," "at least you know you can get pregnant." A specialist coach understands this minimisation as one of the most damaging aspects of the experience and knows how to work with its aftermath.
- Layered guilt and ambiguity. With TFMR, IVF loss, and pregnancy after loss, there are layers of guilt, decision, and ambiguity that general grief frameworks rarely address. A specialist coach has specific training in these dimensions.
- The body's particular experience. Pregnancy loss happens in a body that carried the pregnancy. The hormonal shifts, the physical procedures (D&C, delivery), the loss of a physical state — these create a somatic experience of loss that cognitive approaches alone cannot fully reach.
- Impact on identity and relationships. The grief of pregnancy loss is not only about the baby — it is about womanhood, motherhood, partnership, and the future that was being built. A specialist coach understands and works with all of these dimensions.
- Cultural context in Asia. In Singapore and across Southeast Asia, pregnancy loss is often endured in silence, shaped by cultural expectations of resilience and privacy. A Singapore-based specialist coach understands this context from the inside.
What to Expect in Vernessa's Sessions
Vernessa's Approach — Integrated Mind · Body · Emotion
You choose the focus. The process and the results belong to you.
Sessions are typically 60–90 minutes, held every two to three weeks across 3–6 months. They take place outdoors in Singapore (at a beach, park, or garden), indoors, or online via Microsoft Teams or Google Meet — wherever feels safest for you. Each session may draw from a range of modalities, woven together according to what each moment calls for:
Ontological Coaching
Powerful questions that shift how you observe your grief, your identity, and your way of being — opening new possibilities through language, body, and emotion together.
TRE® — Tension Release Exercises
A body-based practice that activates a natural neurogenic tremor response — gently discharging stored stress and trauma from the nervous system. Works where language alone cannot reach.
EFT — Emotional Freedom Tapping
Gentle tapping on acupressure points that helps regulate the nervous system's response to fear, grief, and emotional overwhelm. Particularly effective when anxiety is high and the body feels unable to settle.
Grief Recovery Method®
The only internationally evidence-based grief recovery programme — giving grief somewhere to go through structured, step-by-step processing of the emotional pain and undelivered communication from each loss.
Mindfulness
Grounded presence practices that help the nervous system come back to the current moment — creating space between the grief and the overwhelming of it, particularly in the quiet moments when fear surfaces.
Art Journaling & Creative Expression
When words fail — drawing, collage, painting, or mark-making can become a container for what language cannot hold. No artistic ability required. Just willingness to let the hands move and see what comes.
Walk at the Beach or Park
Moving through nature — barefoot on grass, beside water, in a green space — helps the body find a felt sense of safety that a clinic room rarely provides. Sessions are often held at East Coast Park or the Botanic Gardens.
Somatic Breathwork
Conscious, guided breathing that works directly with the autonomic nervous system — moving the body from fight-flight-freeze into rest and regulation when anxiety and grief are at their highest.
Is Pregnancy Loss Coaching Right for You?
Coaching may be the right fit if:
- You are grieving a miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, infant loss, neonatal loss, or IVF loss — at any stage, at any time since the loss
- You feel functional but are carrying grief that is not being acknowledged or supported
- You want support that goes beyond being listened to — that helps you move through the grief in your mind and body
- You are navigating the decision about whether to try again, and want space to explore this without pressure or agenda
- You are in a subsequent pregnancy and finding the anxiety overwhelming
- You feel that those around you have moved on, and you need a space where the grief is still real and welcome
- Your loss happened years ago and something has surfaced it — a trigger, a subsequent pregnancy, a decision about a second child
- You are in Singapore, Southeast Asia, Hong Kong, Australia, or anywhere globally — online sessions are fully available
A note on clinical support: If you are experiencing severe depression, suicidal ideation, or are unable to function in daily life, please reach out to a mental health professional or crisis line first. Coaching is most effective when a baseline of psychological safety is in place. If clinical support is what you need, I will always help you find the right resources — coaching and therapy can also work beautifully alongside each other.
Frequently Asked Questions
How is pregnancy loss coaching different from talking to a friend or family member?
A pregnancy loss coach provides a structured, skilled space specifically designed for this grief — one where you do not need to protect the other person's feelings, manage their discomfort with your sadness, or explain why you are still grieving. A good friend offers love. A specialist coach offers both warmth and professional training in how grief after pregnancy loss actually moves — and how to support it.
How long does coaching take?
The Kintsugi Journey is 12 sessions across 3–6 months. The Essential Care Journey is 6 sessions. Both move at your pace, with sessions every two to three weeks. There is no fixed endpoint — some people find what they need in six sessions; others benefit from the full twelve or choose to continue. The pace belongs to you.
Do I have to talk about my loss in detail?
No. You choose the focus for each session. Some people want to talk through every detail of what happened; others want to work on where they are now rather than revisiting the past at length. Both are valid. The coaching meets you where you are — not where it thinks you should be.
Can my partner join my sessions?
Grief is deeply individual. Even when two people share the same loss, they often process it differently — and those differences deserve space of their own. I typically prefer to see each partner individually for at least three sessions before considering joint sessions, so that each person's grief has room to breathe without the other's presence casting a shadow over it. Both partners are welcome, separately, from the beginning.
Where can I find a pregnancy loss coach in Singapore?
Vernessa Chuah is Southeast Asia's first ICF-certified pregnancy and infant loss coach, based in Singapore. She offers in-person sessions (often outdoors at East Coast Park or the Botanic Gardens) and fully online sessions for those across Asia and globally. A free discovery call is always the right place to start.
Southeast Asia's First Pregnancy and Infant Loss Coach
I am Vernessa Chuah — ICF-certified, Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist, and TRE® Practitioner. I have been supporting bereaved parents in Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, the Philippines, Hong Kong, and globally since 2021. I bring both professional training and personal lived experience of three pregnancy losses to this work.
If you are wondering whether coaching might be right for you, a free discovery call is always the right first step — no pressure, no obligation, just a warm conversation to see if working together feels right.