Sadness is an understatement of the intensity you are experiencing.
You have a mixed bag of emotions.
Some days, you feel okay, and some days not.
You felt you were moving on, only to find yourself back at square one.
The days feel gloomy, and you struggle to see the path ahead.
You are afraid you cannot get out of this “stuck” tunnel.
Your mind is clouded with thoughts, yet you lack the clarity to know what you want or need. It feels like you’re thoughts and feelings are trapped and play on auto-repeat inside you.
You feel scared, frustrated and helpless.
I see you.
I hear you.
I feel you.
Let me walk with you to find yourself again. This is beyond just back to “function” mode.
Find the confidence in your voice, clarity in how to move forward, and connect with your heart on who you truly are.
The story behind the work
After three painful pregnancy loss, I was searching for support and noticed most help are accessible in Western countries. I couldn’t believe there is not much support available in Asia.
When I open up my story, family and friends who I never knew have similar experiences came to comfort and share their story.
I started interviewing women who experienced pregnancy and infant loss, and noticed how lonely and helpless this journey can be. Many were ashamed to tell others (including close friends and family), some started distancing themselves from friends who are pregnant and have babies, some couldn’t express their emotions openly and some were anxious about getting pregnant again.
I wanted to make a difference.
There must be something that can be done.
What to expect in our journey
Let’s co-partner to navigate what you need in each session. There is no one-size fits-all approach, each session is customised for you. Everyone’s grief journey is different.
My approach is rooted in authenticity and vulnerability, supporting you to journey through your healing process. Together, we can recognise and honour our losses without being defined by them, empowered to move forward with renewed strength and courage.
I manoeuvre where you need me, and use different modalities to practise with you. I bring out the right tools that meets your need at the different sessions.
- Ontological Coaching (Body, Emotion and Language)
- Mindfulness practice
- Somatic work
- Art expression
- Tension Release Exercises (TRE®)
- Grief Recovery Method (GRM®)
What is ontological coaching?
Coaching is a co-partnership and co-creation with you. I believe you are whole and know the answers deep inside you. My role is to guide you to view through a different lens. By asking powerful questions, you can venture into your narratives, navigate through your awareness and explore the observer in you. Ontological coaching focuses on your body, emotions and language to shift your observations. You can open up possibilities and move forward with your grief.
Every emotion is here to tell you something, and it shows up in your body. How aware are you of the messages your body and emotions are telling you? With a little pause, you can listen and follow your heart and gut better, opening up to listen to your inner voice and intuition.
There is no timeline in grief. You have the support and resources to go where you want to go. Our goal is not to remove sadness but to achieve emotional agility, where you can provide a safe space to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and move to function when needed. The capacity and ability to move in different and a wide range of emotion spectrums.
It is painful to feel, yet you are alive when you can feel.
Together, let us explore new insights into how you think, act and behave. Transforming your vulnerability into courage. You can seek choices without judgment.
Can I just heal with time?
Imagine a garden with weeds. Not looking at it for months does not change the growth of the weeds. Time alone will not remove the weeds. You need to take action with the right tools to see a different result.
To improve the garden’s condition, you need to put in effort to look into the roots of the weeds. This metaphor is the same for healing. Time alone will not help. You need to have the intention and take action to heal. You can mask, dismiss and suppress your emotions and thoughts, yet it might manifest in other areas of your life. You experience emotional outbursts (anger, anxiety, tantrums and fear) that surface when least expected or during unrelated events.
Time is essential, yet time with action is what makes the difference.
Coaching is a supplement, not a Panadol.
We take supplements for the overall health of the body. Coaching works similarly. As a coach, I am not here to give you Panadol to mask your problems or have temporary solutions. Healing is a journey and takes time.
When you come to me with a pain point or challenge, I see it as the tip of the iceberg, the surface of the problem. With your permission and willingness, we can navigate below the iceberg. It might be challenging, yet it is possible. Seeking a different perspective, bringing up awareness and shifting your observation. The power is in your hands, and it is your choice to take action with the new awareness.
In my ups and downs in life, my vulnerability has become my strength. My life mission is to support you when you feel stuck with grief and need a light to guide you.
I am here to co-partner in your journey.
With specially crafted coaching sessions combined to support you in your pregnancy grief and loss journey. These sessions are available for both males and females.
Yesterday is history.
Today, you have the choice to be a writer of your own story.
The session has made me realize that I’m not alone in the journey.
I met many fabulous people in the session who can empathise all the many emotions and confusions I went through.
The baby loss awareness event is something that has helped me the most. To know that I am not alone in this and that there are plenty of women out there who went through so much yet are sharing their stories.
I am grateful to have experienced this moment with all of you who gave me hope and support.
The event was smooth and helped us in every aspect.
Thank you so much.
Dear Vernessa, I just want to say a big thank you again.
After the pregnancy loss retreat, I was finally able to sleep through the night without any dreams in three years.
I am hopeful for my healing process.
You are worth it, invest in yourself
Be curious about how your story is serving and not serving you. When you create a different observation, you create new possibilities. With more awareness, you have more power to make choices.
Explore ontological coaching of your WAY OF BEING in your body, emotions and language. Honour the emotions and sense your body on what it wants or needs with somatic work.
Rates: $180 per session, minimum 6 sessions
Duration: 60 minutes per session