You are not alone.
Others have walked here before you.
Real words from bereaved parents who found their way through miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, IVF loss and infant loss — with gentle, expert support by Southeast Asia's first pregnancy loss coach.
Dr Tong Pei Yein
Four miscarriages. A breakthrough.
Dr Tong had four miscarriages since 2015. Her gynaecologist attributed her losses to statistical odds and her increasing maternal age — until she requested further investigation in 2022 and was found to have antiphospholipid syndrome, an autoimmune disorder that causes blood clots and miscarriages.
After her last miscarriage in March 2022, she was referred to Vernessa through a colleague at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital. Through pregnancy loss coaching, she began to put words to the feelings of sadness and confusion she had held silently for years.
"People are afraid of tears. They may think, I'm afraid she's going to cry, and I don't know what to do about it. I really wanted to talk to someone."
She was later featured in The Straits Times Life — sharing her story so that others would know that support exists.
"I had many questions in my mind… full of why, why, why and how, how, how."
"It was helpful to know that my feelings are valid, seeing that I'm not alone. That it's okay to feel sad, okay to have questions, and okay not to have answers."
"Vernessa's quiet presence was extremely helpful. I just needed someone to sit with me and my emotions. She offered her perspectives, giving me the opportunity to see things from a different angle."
"Through the sessions, I realised that my angel babies, though not physically around me, are not gone. They are always in my heart, in the sky when I look up, on the beach where children play, and in every child I see."
"I'm at peace, even if I don't have answers to everything."
The Sunday Times · Life Section · June 2, 2024
Arum Dyastari
Losing Una. Reclaiming herself.
In October 2020, at the height of the pandemic, Arum and her husband Adji experienced the devastating loss of Una — their stillborn first daughter. It was not an easy pregnancy. Arum had battled panic disorder for years, and the grief of losing Una shook her to her core.
"I lost my confidence. I lost my self-trust."
A close friend suggested she reach out to a coach in Singapore who specialised in pregnancy loss. When Arum found Vernessa, she was immediately struck by her story. She listened to an Instagram Live and cried. "I get her, and I feel she gets me, too," she recalled. But fear held her back — fear of what might come out of the sessions, of facing her reality.
"My days have not been easy since the loss. I even quit my job to focus on myself and to get better."
In early 2022, she finally reached out. Vernessa's first email moved her deeply: "Thank you for being willing to show up for yourself even when you feel uncertain about it. This is a strength."
The sessions were not easy. Expressing herself in English, speaking from the heart — it was a challenge. Vernessa was patient, and slowly, something began to shift.
"Every session is difficult, to be honest. I always feel exhausted afterwards, but it helped me tremendously. Each session gives me a new enlightenment, and I got to know myself better — things that were never accounted for got the limelight."
What began as pregnancy loss coaching grew into grief recovery work, as Vernessa recognised that Arum's needs extended beyond the loss of Una. The progress was real and visible.
"I no longer question or blame myself for who I am today, especially for what happened with Una. I celebrate her visit instead. It was bittersweet."
Arum shared her story publicly on Instagram — not easily — so that others who have experienced this would know: it's okay to feel emotional about your loss. It's okay to struggle. And it does take courage to open up, to speak, and even to feel.
"Please go easy on yourself, because your well-being matters most."
Client voices
Every loss is different. Every path through grief is your own. These words are offered not as a promise, but as a lantern — held by those who walked ahead of you.
"Dear Vernessa, I just want to say a big thank you again. After the pregnancy loss retreat, I was finally able to sleep through the night without any dreams in three years. I am hopeful for my healing process."
"Mustered the courage to attend the Pregnancy Loss Retreat last Friday. I was finally able to sleep through the night without any dreams in these 3 years — ever since I lost my baby at Week 32. Feeling hopeful for my healing process."
"Thank you Vernessa for inviting me to the previous retreat in Dec 2021. Truly helped me to feel lighter and helped my grief to let go & transform. Having been in the same session with the other mothers is unexpectedly most beneficial. Fellow mums, or anyone who's going through loss, leverage on this blessing to help you on your journey. We are fortunate to have such resource in Singapore."
"The session has made me realise that I'm not alone in the journey. I met many fabulous people who can empathise all the many emotions and confusions I went through."
"It's an inviting, safe and calm space. The transition from story sharing to TRE is good as it allowed release. I am comforted by your words. An invitation to this circle has allowed me to see myself."
"The session was held in a very comfortable environment where I felt safe. It was a space where I felt I could be vulnerable and it's okay. Thank you for letting me join the session and helping me grow stronger and braver."
"Thank you so much for holding space for me! To be around others who went through the same feels comforting, and strangely healing as well. I think it's a start for me to begin processing this journey — honestly I think I've just been spinning."
"Admiring you for having the heart to use your own experience to help others! It's helpful attending the pregnancy loss circle for me, especially knowing I'm not alone and that others are also struggling like me…"
"The baby loss awareness event is something that has helped me the most. To know that I am not alone in this and that there are plenty of women out there who went through so much yet are sharing their stories. I am grateful to have experienced this moment with all of you who gave me hope and support. The event was smooth and helped us in every aspect. Thank you so much."
"The sessions are an eye-opener, and I am grateful to Vernessa for taking the time to go through my blind spots with me. It's personal, speaks to my heart and touches the raw points compared to just a generic coaching session. Vernessa often asks the right questions and makes me reflect, rather than just offering standard solutions."
"The life coaching helped me gain a sense of clarity behind why I was doing certain things — the way I was talking to myself, and the association I had with my achievement and identity. This coaching was different — more personal, as though it was a conversation with a friend. The questions helped me confront my subconscious thoughts and discover new insights."
"The last 3 years have been very eventful and painful: 4 rounds of IVF, 1 pregnancy termination at 18 weeks due to chromosome abnormalities, 1 pregnancy loss at 7 weeks, and my husband went through 2 rounds of brain surgery. But I am grateful that despite all these, there's always someone as an expert and acts as a good resource for me to recover. One of whom is Vernessa Chuah."
"Vernessa is very patient and attentive in listening to my concerns, and very insightful, asking deep questions that help me reflect on my vision for my relationships. I am thankful for her coaching and enlightenment. I am able to expand my own safe space for myself and my family, stay grounded and have more acceptance."
"The session was very supportive. I felt guided from beginning to end. The pace was just right — it didn't feel rushed. Throughout the session, I felt heard and seen as you went through each step carefully while checking in with me as we transitioned."
"It felt like my nervous system was able to heave a huge sigh of relief. Throughout my day, I just felt relaxed. I think knowing that I have access to this tool gives me the assurance that I can look after myself even when things get really tough. Vernessa is a very thoughtful and supportive person. She will ensure you feel safe throughout your session. I highly recommend her."
"My body actually has so much to release. I was surprised that the somatic came so naturally — I guess it's a way my body is communicating with me. TRE is a good self-care maintenance tool. This tool allows me to 'release' what no longer serves me and puts me in a better frame of mind to visit my issues without being overly triggered."
"I'm releasing deeply stored tension within my hip area / sacral chakra due to physical weakness accumulated over many years. It was helpful that Vernessa had props to support my physical release. Highly recommended."
You deserve support that understands your grief
Pregnancy loss — whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR, IVF failure, or infant loss — is unlike any other grief. It is quiet. It is invisible. It is often met with silence, even by those who love us most.
Vernessa Chuah is Southeast Asia's first pregnancy and infant loss coach — ICF-certified, with over 14 years of lived and professional experience supporting bereaved parents across Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines.
Her approach is trauma-informed and somatic. Sessions are tailored to you — your story, your body, your grief, your pace. There is no timeline for healing here.
Whether you are seeking miscarriage support in Singapore, navigating the grief of a stillbirth, processing a TFMR decision, or recovering from recurrent IVF loss — Vernessa holds space without judgement, without platitudes, and without rushing you toward "moving on."
Healing is not about becoming who you were before. It is about becoming someone who can hold both grief and life — with steadiness, tenderness, and support.
Rooted in experience.
Built on lived truth.
You are likely carrying something
that has not yet been fully held.
There is no pressure. No urgency. Just a quiet conversation — at your pace, on your terms. Reach out and let Vernessa know you are here.
WhatsApp 8328 6483 · [email protected]
@pregnancy.loss.coach