A Ritual of Remembering for a Loved One.
A gentle, guided pause for families to honour someone they love, say what was left unsaid, and process grief together.
- 2 to 3 hours
- Home, beach, park or online
- Not religion based
- Recommended as a family
- Minimum 2 people
- Pets lovingly included
What is A Ritual of Remembering for a loved one?
A Ritual of Remembering is a 2 to 3 hour, non-religious remembrance ritual for families grieving the death of someone they love. A parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, a grandparent, a dear friend, or a beloved pet. It is sometimes called a memorial ceremony, a celebration of life or a grief ritual, and offers gentle grief and bereavement support in Singapore and online.
Guided by Vernessa Chuah, an ICF certified coach and Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist®, your family moves through somatic grounding, gentle guided prompts, words spoken to your loved one, and a gentle letting go by candlelight. We gather in the comfort of your home, at the beach or in a park in Singapore, or online for those overseas. It is a time set apart to honour the life that was shared, acknowledge your grief, and carry your loved one forward with love.
At a glance
- What
- A guided, non-religious grief and remembrance ritual
- For
- Families and couples grieving a person or a pet, minimum 2 people (recommended as a family)
- Also known as
- Grief ritual, memorial ceremony, remembrance ceremony, celebration of life, bereavement support
- Types of loss
- Cancer and terminal illness, sudden death, accident, suicide loss, old age, pet loss, and losses never acknowledged
- Duration
- 2 to 3 hours depending on group size, plus a pre-ritual call
- Where
- Your home, a beach or park in Singapore, or online worldwide
- Guide
- Vernessa Chuah, ICF certified coach, Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist®, TRE® provider
- Investment
- S$220 per person, minimum 2 people; 10% off for families of more than 5
For everyone carrying someone in their heart
- Families grieving the death of a parent, spouse, partner, child, sibling, grandparent or friend
- Families who lost someone to cancer or a terminal illness
- Families caring for a loved one in palliative care, carrying anticipatory grief
- Those whose loved one died suddenly, through an accident, a medical emergency or suicide
- Pet parents grieving a dog, cat or animal companion
- People who could not attend the funeral or say goodbye
- Those living overseas, far from where the loss happened
- Grief from long ago that was never given space
- Complicated relationships, where love and hurt live side by side
- Families with children who want to include them gently
- Adult siblings coming together after losing a parent
- People of every belief, and those with none
Honouring the way you lost them
There is no hierarchy of grief. How someone dies shapes how we grieve, and each ritual is shaped around your story.
Loss to cancer or terminal illness
Months or years of caregiving, hospital visits and hoping can leave you exhausted and numb. Grief often begins long before the goodbye. The ritual can be held after the death, or during palliative care, to honour anticipatory grief and give space for what you want to say.
Sudden death and accidents
When a loss comes without warning, there is no chance to say goodbye. Shock can sit in the body for a long time. Gentle grounding helps you feel safe, and guided prompts help you find words for what was left unfinished.
Pet loss
A pet is family. Yet pet loss is often brushed aside with "it was just a dog" or "get another cat". Here, your bond is honoured fully. Bring a photo or their favourite item, and let their place in your life be seen.
When there was no goodbye
Living overseas, illness, family circumstances or a funeral that felt rushed can leave grief with nowhere to go. The ritual creates the goodbye that was missing, whether the loss was last month or many years ago.
What happens when grief is unprocessed?
Grief is something none of us can escape, yet most of us were never taught how to process it. So we push it down, keep busy, and stay strong for everyone else.
But grief that is not processed does not simply disappear. It waits, and it can quietly shape how we live, how we love and how we show up for others.
In everyday life
Tension held in the body, restless sleep, irritability or numbness, and waves of sadness that seem to come from nowhere.
In our relationships
Family members grieve differently. One talks, one goes quiet, one keeps busy. Without meaning to, we can drift apart just when we need each other most.
In how we parent
Grief can surface as worry, overprotectiveness or emotional distance. Children sense what is left unspoken, even when no one names it.
Moving forward, not moving on
Processing grief does not mean forgetting. It means making room for love and loss to live side by side, so you can laugh again, hope again and live fully, while still remembering.
How do you cope with the death of a loved one?
Many of us have heard of the five stages of grief. In real life, grief rarely moves in neat stages. It comes in waves, it loops back, and it looks different for every member of a family. There is no right way to grieve and no fixed timeline.
What helps most is giving grief somewhere to go:
- Let feelings be expressed, rather than pushed down to stay strong for others
- Care for the body, where shock and sorrow are often held, through breath, rest and gentle movement
- Say what was left unsaid, in a letter, a drawing or out loud
- Remember together, so no one in the family grieves alone
- Mark the moment, because ritual helps the heart accept what the mind already knows
A Ritual of Remembering brings all of these together in one gentle, guided space.
A space for what was missing.
A funeral is often busy with arrangements, relatives and rites. There is rarely time to simply sit with your own grief. And for some losses, like a beloved pet, there is no gathering at all. This ritual creates that space.
Honour their life
Remember who they were, the moments you shared, and the ways they shaped you.
Say what was left unsaid
Thank you, I'm sorry, I let go of this pain, I love you, goodbye. Words that finally find a home.
Let your grief be held
As the natural expression of your love, not something to fix or hurry.
Let go of the pain
Release what you wish could have been different, more or better, so you can move forward while carrying the love.
Grief is love with nowhere to go. This ritual gives it somewhere to land.
Why we recommend processing grief as a family
When someone dies, the whole family loses them, yet each person so often grieves alone. One wants to talk, another keeps busy, another stays strong for everyone. Without meaning to, families begin to misread each other's grief as distance, or even as not caring.
Every grief is honoured
Spouses, adult children, grandchildren and siblings each carry their own relationship with the person who died. Here, every story is seen and every loss is named.
You witness each other
Hearing a sibling's letter, seeing a child's drawing, watching a parent light the candle. These moments reveal grief that words alone may never reach.
One shared memory
Instead of carrying separate, private stories of loss, you create one shared memory of honouring your loved one, something to return to on birthdays and anniversaries.
No one has to be the strong one
In a gently guided space, everyone can soften, lean in, and find their way back to each other, with your loved one at the centre.
A loss that could quietly pull a family apart becomes a moment that draws you closer.
No family nearby? Come with a partner, a sibling or a close friend who also loved them. The ritual is held for a minimum of 2 people, so no one grieves without a witness.
What makes this ritual so powerful
It gives grief a witness
Grief that is never acknowledged tends to stay frozen. When it is spoken, seen and held, it can begin to move.
Ritual reaches where words cannot
Gentle prompts, simple drawing and lighting a candle let feelings find form when talking alone feels impossible.
The body leads the way
Somatic grounding settles the nervous system, so you feel safe enough to soften without becoming overwhelmed.
It completes what was unfinished
Speaking to your loved one gives a home to the thanks, apologies and goodbyes that never had the chance to be said.
It is intentional
Choosing to set this time aside is itself an act of love. It says: you matter enough to pause for.
It lets you release
What was carried for so long is spoken, witnessed and let go. You leave lighter, holding the love and not the pain.
Little hearts grieve too.
Children feel loss even when they cannot name it. Losing a grandparent, a parent, a sibling or a family pet may be their very first experience of death.
Helping children cope with death starts with including them. Through drawing and simple ritual, they can express their feelings, ask their questions, and see that grief is something a family can hold together. It is a skill they will carry for life.
When is the best time?
There is no wrong time. Some come within weeks of a death, once the funeral is over and the house has gone quiet. Others come years later. Love has no expiry date, and neither does grief.
Moments people often choose
- After the funeral, once the house has gone quiet
- The birthday of the person who died
- The anniversary of their death
What we will do together
Over two to three gentle hours, depending on the size of your group, I guide your family through simple, meaningful practices that help you slow down, feel, and honour your loved one. Nothing is rushed and nothing is forced. You are free to speak, to write, to cry, or simply to be.
Grounding the body
Gentle breath and body awareness to help you settle and feel safe enough to soften.
Guided prompting
Simple, gentle prompts help you find the words for what is in your heart. No writing skills needed; a few words are enough. Children can draw instead.
Speaking to your loved one
Your words are spoken to your loved one by candlelight, witnessed by your family. You are welcome to bring a photo, their favourite song or a favourite item.
Letting go
Together, you release the pain you have been carrying. It happened, and now it is the past. You move forward with the love, lighter and more connected.
Not religion based
This ritual draws on no particular faith or tradition and is open to people of every belief, and to those with none. You are warmly welcome to bring a prayer, verse, song or cultural practice that holds meaning for you, and it will be woven in with care. It sits comfortably alongside any funeral or religious rites.
Where we gather
In the comfort of your home, at the beach or in a park in Singapore. For those living overseas, or families spread across countries, we gather online, wherever you are in the world.
Finding the words that were never said
Grief holds everything that was, everything we hoped for, and everything left unfinished. The gratitude, the regrets, the hurt, the love. Most of us never had the chance to say it all.
Through gentle prompts, I help each person find their own words, one small step at a time. There is no need to be a writer; a few simple lines are enough. When you are ready, you speak to your loved one, witnessed by the people who loved them too.
Hearing each other is often where the deepest understanding and healing happens. And then, together, we let the pain go, so you can move forward carrying the love.
What's included
Process the grief together
Minimum 2 people · 2 to 3 hours, depending on group size · Families of more than 5 people receive 10% off. Recommended as a family. Children, siblings, grandparents and loved ones are all welcome.
- Pre-ritual call to prepare together
- 2 to 3 hour guided ritual at home, beach, park or online
- Guided prompts and all materials
- Letting go ceremony by candlelight
Optional add-on
Handcrafted and handpoured with love in pure soy wax with a lead-free cotton wick. Names of 5 letters or fewer in raised gypsum letters; longer names are lovingly added as a printed name sticker. Light it on birthdays and anniversaries to remember them. Pre-order needed; delivery available for an additional S$8.S$40
When you are ready to go deeper
For some, the ritual is a beginning. These optional programmes offer more support, at your own pace.
TRE® (Tension & Trauma Release Exercises)
Grief is held not only in the heart but in the body. TRE® gently helps the body release the stress and tension that loss leaves behind, so you can feel safe and grounded again.
Ask about TRE® →The Grief Recovery Method®
A structured, evidence-based programme for grief after any loss, including death, pet loss and long ago losses. Move through what was left unsaid and find a new way forward.
Explore the Grief Recovery Method® →- ICF Certified Coach
- Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist®
- TRE® Practitioner
- 20+ years in education
Held by Vernessa Chuah
Vernessa is an ICF certified coach, an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist® and a TRE® practitioner based in Singapore. With over 20 years in education across Canada, Australia, Malaysia and Singapore, she blends Eastern and Western approaches with deep warmth, so every person feels safe to grieve in their own way.
Know more about me →Frequently asked questions
It is a 2 to 3 hour, non-religious guided remembrance ritual and grief support session in Singapore or online for anyone grieving the death of someone they love, including a parent, partner, child, sibling, friend or pet. It includes somatic grounding, gentle guided prompts, words spoken to your loved one and candle lighting.
No. It is open to people of every belief and those with none. You are welcome to bring a prayer, verse, song or cultural practice and it will be woven in with care. It does not replace a funeral or religious rites and sits comfortably alongside them.
When someone dies, each family member grieves differently and often alone. Processing grief together helps everyone feel seen, builds understanding between generations, and creates one shared memory of honouring your loved one. The ritual is for a minimum of 2 people, and families of more than 5 people receive 10% off.
No. It is a guided grief ritual and grief support session led by an ICF certified coach and Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist®, not counselling or therapy. Many people use it alongside grief counselling, bereavement support groups or hospice bereavement services in Singapore.
Grief has no fixed timeline and does not move neatly through stages. It helps to let feelings be expressed rather than pushed down, to care for the body through breath and rest, to say what was left unsaid, for example in a letter, and to remember your loved one with others. The ritual brings these together in one gentle, supported space.
Children grieve too, often through play, drawing and questions rather than words. Use simple, honest language, include them in remembering, and let them see that adults grieve too. The ritual gently includes children through drawing and candle lighting.
After a gentle grounding, I guide your family with simple prompts to remember your loved one and to name what is in your heart, including the words that were never said. There is no need to be good with words; a few simple lines are enough. Each person then speaks to their loved one, witnessed by the family, before we let go of the pain together by candlelight.
Yes. Pet loss is real grief and is often not acknowledged by others. The ritual can honour a dog, cat or any animal companion, and you are welcome to bring a photo or their favourite item.
Yes. Grief often begins before a death, when a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness or is in palliative care. A ritual can give family members space to express love, fear and what they want to say, and can also be held after the death.
Sudden loss often leaves no chance to say goodbye. The ritual offers a gentle, grounded space to say what was left unsaid, at your own pace. It is not crisis support or therapy. If you are in crisis in Singapore, please call the Samaritans of Singapore 24 hour hotline at 1767.
There is no wrong time. Families often choose a moment after the funeral, the birthday of the person who died, or the anniversary of their death. Some come years later, when grief was never given space.
Many people miss a funeral because of distance, illness or family circumstances. The ritual creates the goodbye that was missing, in Singapore or online from anywhere in the world.
Yes. For people living overseas or family members in different countries, the ritual is held by video call, with materials prepared in advance.
S$220 per person, with a minimum of 2 people, for a 2 to 3 hour ritual depending on group size. Families of more than 5 people receive 10% off. This includes a pre-ritual call, the guided ritual and all materials. A personalised homemade soy candle with your loved one's name is available as an option at S$40.
Take a gentle pause, together as a family.
Whenever you are ready, I would be honoured to hold this space for your family, in Singapore or online. Reach out to begin with your pre-ritual call.
This ritual is a space for remembrance and is not crisis or medical support. If you or someone you love is in crisis in Singapore, please call the Samaritans of Singapore 24 hour hotline at 1767, or the emergency services at 995.
